antietam | week 6; monday (pre-motive)

week 6; monday (pre-motive)

[ Adam plans being upset around the rules. He doesn't go straight back to his room after the trial (and seeing his tarot cards burned) and instead sits around the more secluded areas of the ship, talks to Luke for some time during the night, and then goes to sleep. That means he has a good amount of time where he can just in his room and sulk.

After everything, he's less angry at himself and more just processing what he has to do to keep this from happening again. When he hears someone at the door, he hesitates but climbs down the ladder to open it up. It's not like anyone will kill him right now. ]

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[Dorian isn't really used to doing this sort of thing; he usually remains fairly closed off until he gets to know someone, and wouldn't go out of his way to express sympathy if he didn't know it would be appreciated. But Adam does sort of touch a soft spot for him - he doesn't see himself in him, exactly, since he as an 18 year old was reckless and irresponsible in a way that Adam clearly is not, but he's also never had anyone look up to him before, really. Those who saw potential in him as a young man are in a great way responsible for who he is today, and he likewise wants to encourage that potential when he sees it.

Also, he's just a soft touch.

In any event, he's at the door, with breakfast. He has absolutely no idea what Adam eats, so he's brought: an apple, a waffle, a scone, hot tea, and for whatever reason, a bowl of Fruit Loops. Sadly, he's realizing only just now that there's no way to carry a bunch of breakfast items and knock on the door and still maintain poise and balance as befitting an esteemed and powerful mage. He in fact looks a little frazzled and ridiculous.]

Good morning, have you eaten yet? You ought to.

[ Normally, Adam doesn't like receiving sympathy. He isn't the type who wants to talk about his feelings or receive pitying looks because, well, he was stupid. It's more embarrassing for him than anything. After spending weeks telling himself (and others) not to trust too much, he's failed that very simple advice. So he mostly wants to hide away until everyone forgets.

He isn't really sure he can send Dorian away with all that, though. Especially not since he's hungry and will eat all of it. In fact, he stares at it before actually looking at Dorian. The surprise is fairly evident on his face, not entirely sure what he's done to warrant this treatment. ]

Uh, no, not yet. [ It would be nice to talk to Dorian and have breakfast. He gives him a small smile and reaches out to take some of the food. ] That's real kind of you. You didn't have to, you know.

[Don't embarrass him? This whole showing feelings non-sarcastically thing is new to him.]

Please. I am seeking any excuse to evade the pandemonium on the ship now. The one day of reprieve, and one can't find a bit of quiet anywhere.

I'm out of cabin hours, might this buy me entry?

[ That's a good excuse. It's a lot nicer to feel like he's doing something for Dorian as well. ]

Unfortunately, I don't think the view here is worth all of this. Do you want any? [ Because he's probably going to eat it all if not. He sits it on his desk that is also littered with papers. Now he kind of wishes he were more organized. ] Uh, just sit down anywhere.

I'm alright, I've eaten.

[He'll grab a seat at the desk. He's not put off by the mess; his own place is seldom tidy.]

Now, how exactly are you managing to evade the room hours ban?

[ He'll start in on the Fruit Loops. ] I stayed out late so I could have a few extra hours in here. [ To sulk. ] You know, small pleasures.

Did you and Bull ever talk? [ Because he wants to push the conversation to Dorian and that's all he's got. ]

[He's glad. The Fruit Loops were particularly mysterious; he assumed a young man interested in magic would want them.

Really, though. Is that what Adam wants to discuss. Well. Okay.]

Yes, we spoke briefly after the trial. Honestly, though, I'd forgotten about all the commotion yesterday. Par for the course.

Oh, good. [ So they made up. Excellent. ]

Yeah, it wasn't really a big deal but things like that shouldn't, you know, be exposed before you're ready. [ Actually he has no idea how it's taken in Dorian's fantasyland, but he'll just go from experience. ]

And certain things need never be exposed, at any time, ever. But I appreciate the thought.

Sorry, you don't want to talk about it? [ This is news to him. ] I just thought it was nice that you had your—partner here [ and that he's a giant bull who no one will mess with ] but I didn't mean to pry.

Fasta Vass. [No, he didn't exactly come here to talk about his sex life with someone twelve years younger than him.] You aren't prying, it's simply that - we aren't in any sort of relationship. We've known one another for some time, he's been very unsubtle, and there's precious little in the way of diversion around this ship.

If this is in any way shocking, youth must be very different in your culture than it is in mine.

[ Ohhh. He'd say that out loud but that seems rude. Anyway, now he finally seems properly mortified. ]

Oh. No, it's—not that different, I guess, but that's mostly... [ For teens? He thought. He assumed adults would prefer relationships. That also seems rude. ] I just jumped to conclusions because it reminded me of someone back home. Sorry. Again.

[He's only 30 Adam!!!!]

It's fine, it's fine. Well, now that I'm properly mortified, shall we discuss literally anything else?

[ Dorian manages to make it much less mortifying and Adam actually smiles. He's already finished his Fruit Loops and now he's going to town on the waffle. ]

Let's do that. I... used to talk to Kazuma about every trial afterward. I haven't really gotten my thoughts together yet, if you don't mind that. [ He picks up the tea. He's never had it before, but he drinks it to make Dorian think he's classy. ]

This time we didn't have any definitive evidence. I mean, I think we all just guessed. And that's worrying.

Indeed. I was afraid it might happen this way - once we were unable to divine how it was done, our suspicions immediately turned to magic. Myself included, though I wanted to be wrong enough to convince me otherwise. That Alice refused to clarify his abilities didn't help. In the future, magic users may be under even greater scrutiny.

[A little more gently.]

I'm sorry, by the way. I know you were friends.

Edited 2016-07-12 13:42 (UTC)

How could we have known that he could make a barrier? I'd never seen him do that and... [ He thought they were pretty close. ] No, it's my fault. I used preconceptions instead of reason.

[ There's a pause as he starts to think of how Dorian must feel. ] Do you think that if we have a magic user as a suspect and we can't figure things out, we'll just settle on them?

Preconceptions are perfectly reasonable, at least as useful as dusting well tracked areas for tiny fingerprints. Nothing was your fault. Men I've known far better than any of us knew Kazuma have been tempted by the promise of greater magic. It changes those who can't resist it. Perhaps we ought to have seen it coming, and perhaps we couldn't have.

[A sort of uncomfortable silence; he's always excellent at maintaining the flow of a conversation, but this subject makes him uncharacteristically angry and he needs a moment to pull it back.]

I think that people have always been afraid of that which they can't understand. Magic perhaps most of all. I do think that's a danger, but then, I've thought so for some time.

[ It takes Dorian saying that to make Adam remember that he's seen people do the same thing: kill for magic. Adam can even understand in a way. ]

You're right. There's a reason, at least where I come from, that we don't tell people about magic. [ He's more worried for Dorian, who has a range of magic. Adam has mentions of magic in his skills, sure, but nothing offensive or defensive. ] I wonder if the AI would provide us with a list of the specific things everyone can do. Since we wouldn't be in a trial where someone could be implicated.

In Tevinter, we take pride in magic -- quite possibly too much. In the rest of the world, it's a different matter. And I can understand why, even if I disagree.

That is one solution. Admittedly, I would rather that not happen. I grumble, but the vaguery of my abilities is an advantage, too. I doubt anyone will choose me as a target, knowing as little as they do, and I have been admittedly strategic in not mentioning a few of my limitations. Besides, Bull knows what I can and cannot do. For the others, I am rather more concerned.

[ Adam understands that and he doesn't push to know what Dorian can do. Honestly, if Dorian kills someone, Adam imagines he would have a pretty good reason for it. ] That is smart. Although, some people might think Bull would be biased if it was ever up to him to tell us what you can do... [ You brought this on yourself Dorian. ]

Is there any other way?

[That's...too kind, Adam.]

And he might well be, though not for the reasons one might think. If my life is on the line, I imagine it will be left to Alice to clarify. Perhaps I can demand she confirm what I say. You've no concerns in that regard?

Maybe we can request a lie detector... [ Wouldn't that be nice. ]

Well, my powers can't really be used for anything. If they're even considered powers. I think they're just the result of being tied to something magical. [ He thinks. ] Do you know what scrying is? That might confuse some people.

Of course, though I don't know how it is you do it. Are you actually able to view the future, or is it more collecting signs and interpreting them?

It's a rare enough talent where I'm from, however it's done.

The latter, definitely. I don't get anything clear enough to determine the future.

Those tarot cards that were in the box, they were mine. I used those to interpret what I was being told. But, obviously, I can't hurt anyone with that.

True, it isn't battle magic. But it's a prized talent, particularly when one has the skill without the use of blood magic.

Blood magic? Like... sacrificing something to use magic?

Yes, anything from a little of one's own blood to human sacrifice. If your people don't use it, that's a blessing. It's a common way a mage might access abilities that are otherwise beyond them, such as divination. Extremely illegal, but common.

Oh. [ Awkward. ] Our magic uses a lot of sacrifice too, unfortunately. A life for power. Or... it has to be important to you, specifically, to make an equal exchange.

We don't have regulations on it, really. How can you stop those who do something like that?

We don't. Perhaps we can't. In the South, they control magic by keeping mages prisoners in dingy circles under control of the templars. The Qunari are even more repressive to their mages. But in the Imperium, mages rule and are permitted to use their magic to seek influence and power. A number of forms of magic are officially banned, but so long as you're from a good enough family, don't fall out of favor and aren't too blatant about it, there's nothing to stop you.

I think that's true for any illegal activity.

[ He wonders if he should admit this. ] I used to think magic was about being different and powerful. I liked having power like that; I'd never had it before. But I've also seen what happens to people who try to take too much—they die. Just like Kazuma. Have you been able to strike a balance? Or is everyone with power in that same cycle?

[He's not wrong to admit it; Dorian smiles a little to himself, appreciating the comment.]

I think everyone with power struggles with the same concerns. There can be a fine line between curiosity and obsession, or the desire to use magic and the inclination to abuse it. Particularly if you aren't taught to respect it, and the consequences for failure. When I was young, I thought of magic as little more than a tool to impress upon a great my people my ability and talent. I met someone who taught me otherwise. But even he eventually succumbed to temptation.

There's no easy answer.

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week 6; monday (pre-motive)

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