week 6 trial aftermath; luke's room
[ So. All of that happened. And it was terrifying. The possession was bad enough because Adam thought, of course, they were dealing with demons. He wishes that was it. Now it's strange creatures who want people dead, one who's escaped and who knows how many more out there? What if there's one inside him?
Not to mention, he's a normal human. If one of them got him, he would be dead in a moment. That would be it for him, no amount of Luke's defense lessons would save him. So he's in survival mode now, hunched over and defensive. Do monsters even care that he's valued? He sees Luke start to leave and he knows that's his only protection so he follows without thinking.
Luke could be one of them. But he also knows what it's like to be possessed and not in control, and after the nightmares he's pretty sure that's Luke's greatest fear too. Adam is quiet as they go, not saying anything and staying behind him. His eyes glance around nervously like he's expecting an attack at any moment but they reach Luke's room soon enough and Adam doesn't even think to ask permission inside, he just goes.
It's only when the door shuts behind him that he looks at Luke, distraught and terrified. He doesn't know what to say. ]
Not to mention, he's a normal human. If one of them got him, he would be dead in a moment. That would be it for him, no amount of Luke's defense lessons would save him. So he's in survival mode now, hunched over and defensive. Do monsters even care that he's valued? He sees Luke start to leave and he knows that's his only protection so he follows without thinking.
Luke could be one of them. But he also knows what it's like to be possessed and not in control, and after the nightmares he's pretty sure that's Luke's greatest fear too. Adam is quiet as they go, not saying anything and staying behind him. His eyes glance around nervously like he's expecting an attack at any moment but they reach Luke's room soon enough and Adam doesn't even think to ask permission inside, he just goes.
It's only when the door shuts behind him that he looks at Luke, distraught and terrified. He doesn't know what to say. ]
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I don't think you need me to tell you just how dangerous power can be. There's a funny thing about power. You could go after it and you can achieve it, but very few people get to hold onto it for very long. [....] You ever hear of fatal flaws? Our kind has really, really strong ones. Zeus's kids' fatal flaw is power. They want it so bad they might end up making all the wrong decisions. The wrong decisions could mean the end of the world. Which would you take, the power or the end?
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The question makes him think. He doesn't answer right away, which is probably bad in itself but he's really considering it. He's stopped people from ending the world before but they were also Bad People. Of course, doing that would also logically make him a bad person. But does he really care about the world that much? ] Someone like me is never gonna have that sort of option. Where I come from, people are born with the power to do whatever they want and it never goes away. If you're born into it, it's yours forever. It's not fair that they don't have to decide.
... I wouldn't take power if it caused the end. Even if the world is pretty awful. But I would like to be equal with the people with power. All I want is the freedom that comes with it.
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I don't know where you're getting the idea that freedom comes with power. [It's a light tone, not entirely accusatory but enough that he wants Adam to elaborate further.] I could say you could work at gaining power but like I said, it's a fickle thing. It changes hands even if it's tempting to go after. [But it's something else that Adam's said that Luke's thinking about.] ...the kind of power you're thinking is something more obvious though. Money and status. Those things are really important to you?
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Money is important to everyone. Even you managed to survive by changing prices and everything. If you don't have money, you don't have anything. And, well, freedom comes with money. If you have money, you can do whatever you want. Like Gansey searching around the world for Glendower or Ronan quitting school to become a farmer. [ He pauses, realizing he's sounding like he used to. ] ... but it's not the most important thing. I wouldn't destroy anything to get it. Because I'm working for it on my own. It'd be stupid to get it handed to me now.
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Part of it is also the author hates us and never said what it is.He trusts the kid more than he trusts anybody else on the ship but it's still one of the subjects he'd rather skirt around, especially when Adam's still talking and Luke's starting to really really wonder about the old Adam Parrish.]Hey, I did it because I was taking care of other people. [...] Believe it or not I didn't always like using my powers. So don't try that on me. [...but that's putting a lot of things into perspective.]
You've never had it, have you. [He can't judge but Adam being like this...he's actually surprised he didn't go for the money motive.]
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There is some clear hesitation in his expression. He doesn't like talking about it, but he's pretty sure Luke has had even less than him. And somehow that makes him feel better. ] I reckon not. [ He shrugs and looks elsewhere. ] That's why I'd really like to get back to school so I can go to college and not work three jobs for the rest of my life.
But I guess I should focus more on actually keeping my life here, right? It would have all been for nothing if I die.
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Pretty feasible goal, I'd say. [There's a very small grin though. Adam will be fine...it's just a matter of making sure he gets home.] I already told you. Play the game right, we'll get you back there. I'm not going to let anything happen to you as long as I can stop it. That includes being killed, doing the killing, or bodysnatching aliens. All right?
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And I'd do the same for you. Don't forget that. [ At least make it equal. He looks over at him now. ] If I killed someone, you'd help?
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I know. [He'll still be the one to protect him in the end, but he has to trust that Adam won't let him down either. There's a sound that's close to a "maybe" at the question.] Depends on who it is, what the reasoning was and what you were doing. Out of the two of us, who's more likely to kill? [There's a slightly bitter smile.] Think about it that way.
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I don't know. You don't seem as bad as I first heard. [ He gives him a challenging smile. ] When it comes down to it, someone who kills a bad person is only doing good. [ A sneak peak at Adam Parrish's morality. ] If you did something like that, I wouldn't blame you.
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I think it's too late for me to hate you, if that's what you're asking.
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You followed me back to my room. I think I figured that part out, Parrish. [But he looks settled enough anyway.] I'm thinking about sneaking out to grab a tablet. Need anything while I'm out?
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There's a flash of concern on his face when Luke mentions going out. ] Uh, no. Just take Backbiter and... If you're not back in fifteen minutes, I'm going to look for you. [ So there. ]
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You are staying here because I'll be back probably in no more than twenty. [He's up on his feet, moving to grab the kitchen knife he borrowed and handing it over.] Keep this. I'll be back soon. [And he'll give one quick look to the vent in the ceiling before jumping down the ladder to head out. Don't worry, he won't be gone for long.]